To pass or not to pass

So last night at around 8pm, my agent's assistant sends me another appointment for Monday -- a CW pilot.

Now you must understand something -- for me, the word "CW" leaves the same taste in my mouth as some people when they think of an ex boyfriend, or a food that they like but that always happens to upset their stomach. You like it, you want it work, but for whatever reason it just doesn't. That's my history with the CW.

So the appointment comes in, and says it's for a "16 year old, feisty girl." Ha. OK -- now let me explain something, I am nobody's 16 anymore, and even at 16, I wouldn't have been able to play it because I've always been an old soul.

So I immediately write back to my team: "Sorry, pass. Thanks guys but I think this was a mistake."

They write back: "It's at the producer's request."

So I look at the appointment sheet to see who these producers are, and if they are delusional or just have a vision of me as a glorified 20 something who has been drinking from the fountain of youth. Low and behold, I don't even know these people. At least, I don't think I do.

I call my agent (who at 8pm is out of the office, but his assistant is still there), and I say, "I'm sorry, but you've gotta double check. I have two more auditions that day, and can't go in for something that I am just so wrong for. It doesn't make sense. Why would they want to see me for this?? And on top of that, if anything illustrates that I'm not 16, it's that I'm sitting here drinking scotch and not Boone's Farm." (Strawberry Hill, anyone?)

He laughed, agreed, double checked. And turns out, they're willing to change the age of the role. They want to see me.

This was a great lesson. Sometimes, how you see yourself may not be as others see you, and even moreso you may walk in the door and bring something so new to a role, that they could change it. Not FOR you, but BECAUSE of you.

In this town, you just never really know. And half the time in pilots, there are so many cooks in the kitchen (casting, producers, director, studio, network), that they don't even know what they're looking for until it walks in the door.

Now this is not to say, that there aren't certain auditions that you just know in your gut you need to pass on. Rewind to the beginning of my career, when I was literally petrified of passing on any audition because I feared that my agent would drop me. But even then....I just knew that I was not cut out to be the waitress in some ultra low budget Lucy Lawless movie who ends up getting killed by some peeping tom who likes watching her walk around her bedroom topless. I passed. I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do. Nor was "Wild Things 3: Diamonds in the Rough," or "Poison Ivy 5, 6, or 7...."

Save that job for someone who can only do that. My mom has always told me that. And she's right. If you know you can do more, and by some miracle, you can hold out, then hold out. Because guaranteed, there is some girl out there who really wants to be that topless girl, and will be proud of that. If that's not you, then let her do it.

And pass. Your time will come.