Feedback

I don't ask for it. Correction: I never ask for it.

When I first started acting, I remember calling my reps, or shooting them an email after each audition, to let them know how I did...whether casting said I was "great," or "good," or whatever interchangeable adjective I was given in my session. At the same time, I would ask my agent and manager to let me know if they heard anything. As though all my eggs were in this one little basket, and my agents were better served trying to get feedback than work on getting me more appointments.

The neuroses didn't stop there -- couple days later, if I didn't hear back from them, I'd follow up..."Did we hear anything? Did casting say anything?"

Like a crazy little actress waiting by the phone, desperate for one morsel of feedback that I could dissect with my friends.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Having your agent reiterate that casting thought you were "great," means zero in the grand scheme of things. Your agent knows you're great, that's why he reps you. And to live your life/your auditions at the mercy of what people thought about you....well, it's just silly.

If you got the part, rest assured, your agent will let you know. If you didn't, it doesn't matter why not because it's probably some nonsensical reason -- like you being too tall. Or some legitimate reason, like someone being better than you...which you also don't need to know (because there will always be someone better). There is probably someone out there who is (dare I say) even better than Meryl Streep, but that undiscovered talent may be like Christopher Waltz, who comes out of the woodwork at their prime. Either way, you don't need that feedback. You don't need to fixate on who was "better" than you. You need to just work on you.

Now on the other hand, if there's a constructive note that casting gives your reps (i.e., she was unfocused, unprepared, smelly, late, whatever) -- well, then here's the reality: you need to get your shit together.

But if that's the feedback, trust me (TRUST ME!!), they will tell you. You won't have to ask.

So in the meantime, just feel confident with the work you bring to the table, and once you leave the room, leave it alone. No really...leave. it. alone.