Back to the grind

I have to say it's weird to be back to the hustle. The printing of sides, learning material, checking in with the guard gate, waiting awkwardly because they somehow don't have your name on the list-hustle.

Since I've been back to LA, I've had a few reads; some of which I passed on, others that I went in for happily (though let's be honest, I'd rather be working).

But here's what happens when you've been away for a while: you forget.

Not only do you forget how to do it (the charming of the room, the ability to "audition" vs the ability to just "act," which are two very different techniques to master), but you forget the things that a few months ago were second nature to you. So much so that when the guard offers you one of these:



...you actually have to take it. Because the autopilot that your mind used to be on (that could have you enter a studio lot, run your lines in your head, and turn through the maze of little alleys until you somehow arrive at the casting office)....well, it's defunct. So there you are with your little map, looking like a tourist, trying to navigate this place that not so long ago, you knew so well you could have been a tour guide.

And there's more. You forget about the sign in sheet (how you see whose been in, what their agency is). You are reminded of how bitchy some of the girls can be. How they pretend like they're not checking you out as they glance at their lines and size each other up. You forget how much you want to cringe when the walls are thin between the waiting room and the audition room, and you can HEAR every single line coming out of someone else's mouth. But not the way you prepared it...

Thankfully though, the one thing that I didn't do after this audition was say some dipshitty thing when they told me I did a "beautiful job," and thanked me for coming in. I just said "thank you."

That's a lie. Actually, I said "no worries," and then I said "thank you," and paused to think of something nervous and awkward to say, but was feeling a little sick so my shitty wit was in poor form, and I left it at that. Thank God.

Gonna use the weekend to get my sea legs and try to dive back into the world of being a professional auditioner.