THAT girl

Yesterday I became "that girl." Not an "It" girl. "That" girl. Let me explain.

When I first began acting, I would get into auditions that had actresses who were far more seasoned than I was. Maybe it was a favor to may agent, maybe it was the CD's mitzvah for the day...no idea, but somehow I was given some great opportunities while having nothing on my resume to substantiate giving me a shot. I would sit so meekly in the waiting room, watching some of the other actresses hug the CD, chat, be in the room for tens of minutes longer than anyone else was. And when THAT girl would walk out, I remember feeling so envious. Jealous, even. She was comfortable, relaxed, chummy with the people in the room. And there I was -- green, nervous, and awkward.

So yesterday, when I wrapped my scenes for the film, I raced across town to get to an audition. There are already five girls in the waiting room, and a few piled in after I had arrived. I sign in, catch my breath, and glance at the sides which I had just gotten.

It was at a casting office that has dreadfully thin walls so you can hear EVERYTHING that happens in each girl's audition. We all listened -- some pretending to check their blackberries, some rolling their eyes or giggling about the actress's delivery of a line, others reapplying lip gloss like it was going out of style. But the one common thread of each of the auditions preceding me was this: "Hi, nice to meet you. Thanks for coming in."

Like clockwork, every 3 minutes, a new actress would go into the room, and that's what you would hear from the casting director's voice. "Hi, nice to meet you."

The associate comes out and tells me it's my turn, and I almost cringed when these words came flowing out of the CD's mouth: "Ahhhh!!! Honey!!! Thank you so so much for coming in! You look great, what are you shooting right now? When do you wrap? Will you be avail to shoot this? Oh great!" Etc, etc, for about 10 minutes.

I felt like shit. It was bittersweet. Because I KNOW how much I would have hated hearing that through those thin doors. How much it would have psyched me out, how I would have become a defeatist and just said to myself, "there's not enough lipgloss in the world, or enough time to run these lines, or anything at all that I can do to book this part over her." I would have hated her. I would have hated me.

Anyway, once I got over my paranoia of being loathed by the girls in the waiting room, I became that cool, relaxed, comfortable actress that I had envied for so long. The one who doesn't check her makeup before she goes in, and laughs when she drops her cue in the audition, and just asks to start over w/o feeling thrown.

And despite the daggers being thrown at me as I left the audition, I felt really grateful. Grateful that I wasn't in my head anymore, or comparing myself to other actors as I had been in the past --and that after all of these years of hustle....that I realized that THAT girl wasn't so bad afterall.

Indie Awesomeness

I gotta tell ya. I'm kind of majorly loving working on this film. Who knew? It has been such a new and fun experience for me to work on something indie, and to be able to play and improv and use all this on set experience (that I've had with past directors) to really woo this current director.

He pulled me aside today and said, "I don't wanna kiss your ass, but I'm gonna be so sad when we wrap your scenes. You bring such great energy to set, and everything you experiment with, and play with....those risks are always wins."

It just felt (feels) so affirming. Especially when I remember so very vividly my first SAG job that I was Taft Hartley'd for....the job for CBS as a co-star where I felt like a human prop. Where my opinion, my "choices," all my training and funny within was so stifled. Where I spent more time freaking out before the take, desperately trying to remember those two lines, rather than taking a deep breath, taking it all in, and just relishing my time on set. The panic was clear on my face as the camera quickly pushed past me, and yet it still ended up on my reel. Because at that time, that's all I had to show.

Now I relish my time on set.

I relish, and swim in it, and play, and enjoy myself like I wish I always had. And that's so easy to say NOW. Because, let's be honest...things are very very different now compared to what it was like a few years ago.

Five years ago, it wasn't my place to have a little tete-a-tete with the director, or tell the hair dept that I didn't want them to put allll that heat on my hair, or that I would prefer to not have my trailer by the port-a-potties because....well, it was stinky; I wasn't booking parts that required great thought, or that enabled me to feel like I could speak up.

It would be as if you are cast as a pizza delivery boy. They don't need to know your motivation. No one on set cares. Just deliver the damn pizza. And as demeaning as that may feel, or as contrary to all the work you do in class, or what you're taught as you're getting your degree as a theater major... it's just part of it. It's part of paying your dues. And thank God -- thank thank God, that there seriously is a light at the end of the tunnel that says to you..."Now you can play."

What I've learned in this industry....

"....always behave like a duck - keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but paddle like the devil underneath..."
(J.Braude)

InsideActing Podcast

It's funny to navigate this new world as the anonymous version of myself VS the real me. Example: in the past couple months, the "real me" has done a couple interviews to promote films and upcoming projects, while my "anonymous blogger self" has done just that....stayed anonymous and blogged.

Until about a month ago, when I was asked by the fine young people at InsideActing Podcast to give an interview. I obviously couldn't sit down with them, or even have them hear my voice and do it via phone. I couldn't have my representation go through the list of what they can and cannot ask me because even they don't know this blog exists.

It was just me, chatting with them -- candidly, and anonymously.

I tried to say things that I haven't shared on this blog, so that you guys would find it new and (hopefully interesting) as well. And I didn't censor or edit myself, which as my "real self" is generally a part of the PR game that must be played to appease networks and studios.

Hope you enjoy the interview: http://www.insideactingpodcast.com/2010/04/episode-20-working-actress.html

CONTEST Winner

Thanks for all of the submissions. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of them (both in the "comments" section as requested, and from the little rule breakers who emailed them directly). While they were all entertaining (some sad, some funny, others that in the grand scheme of things are not a big deal), there was one that I had to read, and reread....and reread yet again, just to wrap my head around how insane it was.

With that said, the winner is from someone named EttusJ. She was one of the many rule breakers, (who trust me, I considered disqualifying for not posting her story in the comment section of the blog, but ya know what -- after reading this story, it just didn't matter). Ettus will receive a $25 gift card to Cheesecake Factory and a copy of my favorite industry film, "The TV Set."

With her permission to publish, I present the winning story for the first annual Working Actress Contest. Brace yourselves, it's a classic:

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I have been pursuing acting for years, and have always been really big into networking because my acting teacher said that that's half of making it in the industry. Whenever I met a producer, casting director, sound guy, or anyone else in the industry I always kept in touch by sending emails to check in, or letting them know if I was working on a play or auditioning for something they may have some connection to. I'd also grab a lunch here or there with some of them, but it was always about business, and very professional. One day I shot an email to this producer to see if he knew anyone on this project I was trying to audition for. The next day I got an email from an email address I didn't recognize. It was from his personal email address, and this is what he said-

May, 2007

Best use this email address. Not the production one. How's it going? You sound good and happy. How do you know Beth? I've known her for twenty five years. Old friend of my wife's. Also I know her sister who sings so good, but I'm afraid something slipped.

What's going on? What all is happening. Auditions? Sleeping with anybody? Horney? I am for you.

What else? Spring's Awakening is I think a sure Tony winner. Been to LA?

All's well here. Thanks for attaching that article. Wish we were in it. . A lot of work. Glad you thought of me. You should! xo

I never responded, but to this day just reading it makes me laugh and feel dirty at the same time."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hahahahahahahaha. I think this is just fantastic. Perverse, hilarious, and thankfully something I've never had to deal with in the industry. EttusJ -- thanks for sharing. Enjoy your prizes -- they are so well deserved.

Everybody hustles

A week or so ago, before I started shooting the indie, and still had some semblance of a life and free time, I was reading an article in C Magazine. (It's all about California living, and often has great articles about actors...and hey, it was in the waiting room before an appointment, so why not?).

I flip through and begin to skim an article about Ellen Pompeo (of Grey's anatomy fame)...this is what catches my eye:

[Her first big break came in 2002, after she moved to Los Angeles, when she was cast in Jake Gyllenhaal's love interest in 'Moonlight Mile.' But after playing small roles in a half-dozen movies after that (including 'Daredevil' with Ben Affleck and 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'), only to have her entire performance spliced out of nearly all of them, she found her way to a smallish part in a giant movie, 'Old School', and eventually to a screen test for a drama called 'Secret Service.'

"Apparently ABC wasn't buying me as the head of the Secret Service," she says, with what appears to be a typical deadpan. "But I guess they must have liked me in the test, because that's how I got 'Greys.'"]

You can probably guess what resonates in this for me:

A- if you get cut from a project you've done, it doesn't mean that you're bad, or that you'll never work again. It's not personal, and the beat goes on.
B- (and I've said this before), when you go in for an audition, it's NEVER about THAT job. You may be completely wrong for it, but if you're good, it can easily beget more work...and in her case, a show that goes on to be megahit for several seasons, VS a pilot that no one remembers ever existed.

Indie indie bo bindie

Here's an update on how the shoot's going:

1. My indie BFF quit (thankfully having nothing to do with me, as I never told her about our little coincidence). But still, she quit. Ummmm, yeah.....

2. I'm getting terribly sick and desperately need to shake it.

3. My other costar is a gem. Thank God.

4. And this brings me to my largest point: acting is work. Which, yes...we get. But I think it's so easy to forget what hard work it is when we're NOT working. Because when you're at home, and you want to book something so badly, you forget about 12 hr days with no respite. You forget about the the massive amounts of memorization, the struggle to keep scenes feeling fresh even after doing them 20 times (for the master shot, and each person's coverage). You forget about butting heads with a director. Which by the way, has happened to me (like when I booked one of my first pilots, and the director wanted me to do a scene where I'm in the pool in a bikini EVEN THOUGH IT WAS HAILING OUTSIDE). That was a long day on set. Anyhow, I digress...as I've said before -- yes I know that as actors we're not coalminers, or ER doctors, or even cameramen who are working those same hours but lugging heavy equipment. I know. Trust me, I know. But it's so easy to look at actors from the outside and say it's the easiest job in the world. And it's just not. Fun, awesome, great -yes. Easy, no.

Off to set...

CONTEST reminder

Only one more day to get your stories in for the CONTEST...

I'll update you guys on how the film is going tomorrow...all I can say is: Wow.

Make what you want of that one....

Indie BFF

I get a text this morning from the girl who'll be playing my best friend in the indie. It's adorable, endearing, lovely -- to the tune of, "hey new onscreen BFF, wanna run lines tonight?"

Off to a great start. Such a doll.

Now here's the killer, and probably something that she doesn't know -- last spring, I was testing for a series regular on a long running show. I went in 5 times, until the producers were so certain they only wanted me for this role that they didn't test anyone opposite me (meaning, zero competition at the test - I was the only option they were giving the network and studio). I went to the studio test, and they gave me big thumbs up. And then on the the network test....here's where the fun begins.

The network exec was out of town, so they did a "tape test" (meaning, I didn't have to endure the roomful of suits staring at me, and instead just had to sit with the producers and CDs, as I had been for over a month, and put the same scene on tape for the network). I was so relaxed at that tape test I was eating a bag of Smartpop white cheddar popcorn and offering it to the producers like we were old chums. I thought it was in the bag. So did the producers. They told me so.

I left for NY the next day to work on a film, and while I was there got the call: "You're not getting the show. The network wants to go younger." In the middle of a busy NY street, I burst into tears. It's not even that I had wanted it so bad (that's a lie), it's that I had invested over a month of my life into trying to get this role (that's the truth). And just like that, some network exec was like....."meh....let's find a new girl in 2 days." And they did.

Guess who ended up getting that role? The girl who texted me this morning. The sweet girl who will be playing my "onscreen BFF." The girl who now, having booked said role from last spring, has done over 20 episodes and easily made over 400k. (Even more if it was well agented).

Now you tell me...how small is this industry?

The verdict on the indie:

They offered me the role. And I accepted it. (Gleefully, I accepted it).

And courtesy of my super amazing agent, it's a cartwheel inspiring chunk of change PLUS bonuses on the backend (meaning if it becomes a Sundance megahit or a little sleeper hit, or anything in between based on a theatrical release, that once the movie starts making money, so do I! For every million it makes, I get $XX,XXX.XX).

And craziness of all things crazy -- I didn't have to audition for it. There are no words to explain how excited I am by that nice little jump in my career. And certainly worlds away from where I started a few years ago -- like when I wanted killer headshots to get into great auditions, but didn't have killer money, so had my friend take (what turned out to be) awful pix of me in front of an even more awful tree. How do I know they were awful? Oh, because everyone told me. AFTER I printed 500 copies of them. I guess my face surrounded by bark was not the awe-inspring first impression a headshot is supposed to be. Unless it was for a hobbit.

Fast forward 5 years, and based solely on my headshot, reel, and work, I got the part. I'm an offer only indie gal. Teehee.

Awesome.

A joke about agents

A guy dies and goes to purgatory. While there he gets the chance to check out heaven and hell and see which one he prefers for his afterlife.

He goes to heaven where he sees lots of old guys playing golf; it's quiet and serene, and while God is a nice person, he finds the whole place a little boring...

So he heads over to hell, and he walks in to the most amazing party he's ever been to. The best food, the sexiest women he's ever seen, champagne bottles popping, everyone welcoming him with open arms/excited to meet him -- it's just amazing. The devil comes over to him and says, "I am so excited to see you! I've heard so much about you. You're so handsome and awesome and cool. You should definitely stay with us; you'll love it here. You'll get the best of everything. And you know what, you're VIP now. Anything you want/need, whatever it is, just tell them you're with me."

The guy is amazed. He loves it in hell, he's never been treated this well in his life, and decides to stay there.

He wakes up the next morning in a dark dank room...(not the royal treatment he remembered from last night). "This can't be right..." he thinks to himself. So he goes outside and tries to find someone to help him figure out what's going on. No one is very helpful, some people from the party don't even remember him, and he finally demands to speak with the devil.

After hours of waiting, the devil finally speaks with him. "What can I help you with?," the devil asks.

The guy says, "Hey! I've been trying to get in touch with you. We had so much fun last night, and I think there must be some confusion because everything you told me I'd have here/all the perks/all the fun I haven't really gotten, and afterall...you said I was VIP."

The devil looks at the guy and says: "Right. That was before we signed you."

CONTEST

Who knew how much buzz the cheesecake post would create? I have been fielding emails like a madwoman, and trying to rack my brain/sort through old journals to remember all the antics that happened at the beginning...the shitty stuff that we try to forget/let go of, but that is in some perverse way pretty funny.

So while I'm working on that -- how bout this:

YOU TELL ME YOUR WORST/FUNNIEST/MOST IRONIC INDUSTRY MOMENT
It can be an audition, something from a casting person, agent drama, whatever may have boiled your blood at the time, but that you will look back at and laugh about one day (hopefully on the couch of some late night talk show). But instead of waiting for that moment, let's find the humor in it now!

At the end of next week (4/23) I will choose my favorite, and the winner will receive:

-A DVD of MY FAVORITE FILM ABOUT THE INDUSTRY
&
-A GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR SOME...CHEESECAKE FROM CHEESECAKE FACTORY (because, seriously, what better way to celebrate?)

***Please submit your entries in the COMMENT SECTION FOR THIS POST -- and also, only 1 entry per person, so make it a good one***

Best of luck!

Update on the indie offer

...they love my reel
...they're trying to get me more money
...they're making sure I don't have any scheduling conflicts

Wh-wh-wh-whaaaat?

Why do I find it so hard to believe that this could actually work out? That I could get a role without actually auditioning? That I could be at a point in my career where I'm getting straight offers (albeit for an indie, but STILL!).

I'll tell you why -- because it was not so long ago that I was talking to a director who I had met on multiple occasions, who never seemed to remember me. I finally said to him one day, "We've met so many times. Why do you never remember me?" He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Well...be memorable."

It was not so long ago that I was in an audition while two asshole producers literally laughed and texted EACH OTHER during my tearful scene.

It was also not so long ago that a director told me he would give me the part in his shitty non union ultra low budget film if I brought him a chocolate chip cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. And with only $40.87 in my checking account, I did. And didn't get the part.

The shit we do and endure at the beginning of our careers. It's as painful as it is comical.

Oh, and if that lame director is reading this and feeling a pang of remorse, there are a couple things he should note:

a- I'll never do one of your films.
b- I like my cheesecake with strawberries (you can deliver it to my agency). Dick.

Getting an offer

So last week I mentioned this indie film that a casting director called me about. I read it, thought it was adorable, and forwarded everything to my agent.

My NY agent said "Projects like this are just things on paper. If they become something, then great. If not, then you had fun, and it's nothing that ever effects your career." My LA agent shared the same thoughts and said, "Sure. Why not? It doesn't ask for T & A, and you like the script." He then said that his only caveat was that he was not comfortable with me auditioning for it. If they want me, they have to make an offer. Errr....

I felt a weird conflict. My agent (whom I don't consider to be a delusional person) believes in me, and feels I bring value to this film. So much so that I shouldn't have to audition. That felt pretty cool, I must say.

BUT it also felt scary. Because the working actress in me (the girl who has hustled and auditioned for years) can't fathom NOT auditioning. Not because I want to but because I've never not had to. Yes, my credits & reel reflect that I could probably do this role in my sleep. It's a cute ROMCOM and a fun role. And yes, I was just offered a lead in a different indie twice (and had to pass), but that was my friend's film and felt less like business (though i think their budget may have been higher).

I would love to do it....but the idea of just waiting for an offer makes me feel so anxious. Like I don't get the chance to charm the room, and leave them wanting more of my witty banter, and super awesome delivery of the lines ;)

Yes, I ended that with a cheeky wink, but I'm dead serious.

So now is the waiting game....will they make an offer? Tick tock. Tick tock.

I'll keep you posted...

Thank you

You guys make my day. You really do.

From your comments/questions/emails/moments of commiserating with me over auditions gone awry...all of it means the world to me.

When I started this blog I didn't know what it would evolve into...an experiment of throwing my thoughts into the ether and wondering if anyone would listen. But because of each of you, it has become one of the happiest parts of my day.

So to all of you -- from the Robin's to the Cassie & Amber's...from the Lira's & Phoenix's to the Mariana's, Greg's and Lauren's....and every single one of you in between (of which, there are so many that my cup runneth over).

Thank you so deeply for being a part of this hustle with me.

Cheers to many more laughs, tears, ups and downs. And for your company along the way...

xo
-The (very grateful) Working Actress

Flying solo...ish

I left my manager. I had been toiling over this decision for a while. (By "decision" I mean problem, and by "a while" I mean a year).

In the past year I haven't felt like he was part of the team. Tons of belief in me, but little follow through. Because in a manager what you want, what I want, is someone who helps me weigh decisions, manage my schedule, and really help to guide my career. I don't need a manager who is CC'd on every email, but responsive to a few. I don't need hand holding or someone to tell me I'm great -- my friends have that one down pat.

And one of my best friend's put it best. She said: "Why are you paying someone 10 percent if they're only doing 1 percent?"

I'm not a mathematician, but that doesn't add up.

So I braced myself and made the call (sparing my agent from having to do my dirty work and make the call for me...which most actors do).

It was not an easy conversation. Just imagine being with someone for a few years, and telling them you're not happy anymore and moving on. You don't end that call and start doing a victory dance. It sucks. It's a bad break up.

I woke up at 2:30am and couldn't get back to sleep until 4:30am. Not out of regret. Out of guilt. I hate hurting people. I hate rocking the boat. But you know what? Boats rock. That's life.

It was time to grow up and put my big girl panties on.

Indie Schmindie

So yesterday was my first time working on something indie. I don't know what I had in mind (well, that's a lie...I do, and it was frightening) -- I just prepared for the worst: disorganized madness, lack of professionalism, a make-up team that keeps touching your face w/o using hand sanitizer, a hair guy that fries your hair, an inexperienced director, etc.

And quite frankly, all of those things I just mentioned are not that bad. But they're not what I'm used to. So with that said, I get to set in full hair and makeup, a bag of clothing options in hand, and the patience of a saint.

And guess what? I had a great time! Yes, they were disorganized. Yes, I ended up using my bag of clothes because the wardrobe department had not shown up. Yes, they were waaay behind schedule. And yes, the director did actually say, "I love that you're going off the cuff. Because I'm a stickler for improv." (Does anyone else have a huge problem with/or find the hilarity in how that statement just doesn't work?? Maybe that's just me.)

But it was fun, and I left feeling regret that I hadn't accepted the lead. It might have been a cool experience. One never knows...

So as luck would have it, when I wrap for the day I find an email from a casting friend of mine, asking if I'd be interested in a low budget SAG film. Great part, 2 weeks of shooting, and he could see if they could get me more money and a piece of the back-end.

So I'm going to read the script today, see who's attached, and make a decision this week.

But can you imagine...what if I become an indie darling? We'll have to see what my agent says about that one...

The skinny on being...skinny

So yesterday while I'm working out, there's a girl next to me talking to her trainer. This is what she says:

"Yeah, so I have a lot of projects in the mix, but I can't talk about any of it until everything's signed on the dotted line."

I half listen, thinking it sounds like a lot of fluff (by fluff I mean BS), but then she says something that catches my ear:

"So I'm on a restricted diet right now. But it's fine because I've never liked breakfast anyway, so I'm just doing 250 calories at lunch, and 250 calories at dinner. But it's all such clean food, and...."

Wait, what??? 500 calories a day. That's f-ing ridiculous. Her trainer told her the same thing, and short of listening to her rattle on about how she has a "small frame" and doesn't need more than that, I felt so sad for this girl. This girl with all of her "projects in the mix," and skewed version of what being healthy is.

Because that's the thing -- yes, in Hollywood, leading lady size if generally on the thin side, but no one books well when they look unhealthy.

I saw a girl at an audition once who was repped by my agency, and I called my agent after the read because I was concerned by how thin she'd become. I'm talking a shell of the girl she once was. He shared with me that he was worried, as were other agents, and they were having a talk with her. She wasn't booking. She was scary thin.

So what does this come back to? If you read my blog, you know what I'm about to say. Drumroll, please: BALANCE.

Eat well, exercise, treat yourself, etc. Because here's the thing -- when you cut out carbs, the second you have a sliver of one, your body basically inflates. When you stop eating and eat a horrifyingly low 500 calories a day, your hair will fall out, and your skin will look like it did when you were 15 and on acutane.

I keep my weight by: running, pilates (Pilates Plus HBV is my absolute fav!), eating fruits, veggies, whole grains, and fish/chicken during the week, and not depriving myself of great dinner parties and all of my foodie indulgences (great wine, cheese, a killer steak, etc.) on the weekends.

It's a lifestyle. It's not the easiest, but it's a choice. Not just to look healthy, but to feel healthy.

So please...all of you, especially the girls, be easy on yourselves. Be healthy, stay fit and ready to book, but take care of your bodies. Take care of yourselves.

And if all else fails then watch "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution." My new obsession. Changing lives and looking adorable. I mean... :::::swoon::::

PS
This pic is of some of my farmer's market pickings.

ADR

Just wrapped up some ADR for the day.

(That's when something is in post production/editing and they didn't get the sound quality quite right, so they need you to go to a sound booth and re-record those lines/sounds/etc).

In my case, most of my ADR experience has been some variation of my character suffering. I wish I was joking.

Being shot, having a collapsed lung, being caught in a fire, jumping from a building...the list goes on. Basically anything that requires me to grunt, hyperventilate, choke, or gasp for air -- all whilst delivering a random line and having two sound guys watch me stand there and recreate these bizarre moments. That seems to be my specialty. (Talk about "special skills" on a resume....)

Oh, to be an actress.

It was a busy day at the studio though -- aside from various recognizable names, Jay Baruchel was there. A fancy little day indeed.

Off to workout and get ready for the film shoot tomorrow...

To all the naysayers

The thought of this always makes me laugh. Not for the fact that Tom Hanks knocks a child upside the head with a baseball glove (afterall, I'm not evil), but because:

A- it's hilarious
B- it makes me feel motivated, inspired, excited. You're right Tom Hanks (with your infectious conviction in this fact)....
"We're gonna win!!"

The next time you're stressing before an audition, just think of this. (Oh, Stilwell angel...)

Industry friends

A friend asked me to be the lead in his indie film. We met 6 years ago doing a network showcase (that's when networks audition newcomer-actors to do a showcase of scenes for agents, casting execs, etc....a six week process of making fans at an exec level, and making great actor friends). It's funny because my agent at the time didn't want me to do it, but I self-submitted through SAG, was chosen, and had a blast. Some of my best friends are from that showcase.

So back to present -- my friend (who now produces much more than he acts) asks me if I can do his film. Not a big budget (under a million), but great people attached and a great script. I was ecstatic. Problem was, he wanted to shoot during pilot season. I knew I couldn't do it.

A month or so passed, and he pushed the shoot dates, and re-offered me the role, knowing pilot season was winding down. I consulted my agent, and again he shared his concern that if a test deal, recasting, or arc on some show came up during those dates he would need to pull me from the film. Because while it would be fun to do, it wasn't as life altering as a pilot could be (and not nearly as lucrative). And as I've never been an indie darling (as much as I love Parker Posey), the focus has been on more commercial projects. Mainstream great big features and TV shows.

But that wasn't my concern -- for me, it was knowing that my friendship was more important than any job. And that I would never put my friend in a situation where he chooses me, and because of another (or a better) opportunity, I would have to pull out. That wouldn't be fair. So as honored as I was that he thought of me, I had to trust my team, and pass yet again. (I felt physically ill making that call, by the way).

Thankfully, I am surrounded by brilliant people. The happy medium that my friend came up with was to have me shoot a couple days on the film as a cameo VS all two weeks of shooting as the lead. Perfect! Best of both worlds.

I start shooting next week, and I'm so excited. Now that is what I call a "Good Friday." (Cheeky, I know...)

PS
These daffodils have nothing to do with the post, but they make me happy. If you don't have flowers in your home right now, then enjoy these -- or go to Whole Foods and buy some (3 bunches for $5 -- now that's a perfect way to treat yourself!)