Crazy commercial world

Last week after my agency response to the thought of me doing soaps was a resounding "NO," I decided to take a commercial casting from my commercial agency; they call with them often, but there are few spots that I can actually do that my entire team will be ok with (i.e., they have to be talky, actory spots...no douche products, nothing where I seem like an extra, no preparation H, etc).

This spot made the cut...barely. For "Old Navy," for a girl with a nice butt. Character name "Booty Girl." I omitted that info to my theatrical agent.

I get to the commercial audition, and am signing in, when I turn to my side and see a little guy whose head comes up to my waist. And by little guy, I mean a proper man who was incredibly short. I say "hi," turn to go sit down, and realize that he is not vertically challenged, but rather a man crawling around with long stilts attached to his legs.

I look again (because this is bizarre, and it took me a second to process what I was seeing), and see a few more stilted actors (I mean actors on stilts) practicing their crazy long legged kicks before they go in for some audition.

The casting director comes out and calls my name.

"Did you bring your stilts?" he asks.
"No, I don't have stilts. I'm here for the other spot," I say.
"Which one?" he asks.

"Booty Girl."

(I mean really......and doing soaps are "beneath me"?)

:::::::sigh:::::::

Actor Roundtable

Another must read from THR. A great discussion about the politics and play of our industry as told by a pretty awesome group of actors.

Enjoy.

Actress roundtable

This article from the Hollywood reporter is a must read -- a glimpse into the world of working actors....candid, honest, and revelatory. The grass is not always greener, but it certainly is fascinating.

I'll post the one with the fellas tomorrow.

To soap or not to soap

And by soap, I mean the world of daytime television. The world of soap operas.

In the 80s, they were a launching pad for young actors (the Julianne Moores', Jennifer Anistons', Demi Moores' of the world). Then things changed, and soaps were no longer the breeding ground for young talent, but rather the golden handcuffs for them.

Rarely did you see anyone in recent years leave a soap, and take the TV and film world by storm. They stayed on a soap, made great money, and even though some actors attempted to leave, most came crawling right back to their role on a soap. Because even if you were killed off, a soap could bring you back from the dead -- literally.

For those reasons, soaps have never been on my radar. Or my agent's for that matter. They scoff at them. Say it's cheesy, etc. And I never get submitted for them or audition for them.

When you're a young actress in your early 20s, I get it. If you're on a soap for that early 20s block, you're missing an opportunity to introduce yourself to the town while you're at your prime....to do some pilots, make fans at a network and studio level, and set the foundation for booking bigger roles in the years to come. It's an important (and small) window of time. Because sad but true -- the shelf life for actresses is pretty short.

Which brings me to my new thought -- would I consider getting into the world of soaps? Of crazy memorization, and melodramatic storylines coupled with consistency.

That glorious consistency that as actors takes the roller coaster out of the equation. To wake up every morning and go to work. To get into your very layered character (or in the case of soaps, very very very layered character), and work your craft, while being able to worry less and play more.

Calling my agent to discuss this very fact, because I gotta say -- as shocking as my agent and the town will find it, I am kind of loving this idea.

What other people think of you.....

Is none of your business.

It took me a while to wrap my head around this one, because like most actors, I'm a people pleaser -- seeking validation, wanting everyone to like me....and more often than not, caring what other people think of me.

And that's when a friend said to me: "What other people think of you is none of your business. It doesn't concern you, and so long as you are secure with who you are, and the people who love you, then why care what other people think? Why buy into it?"

And to be honest, a lot of people say that the second you free yourself from caring about what others think of you (or at least what you think they think of you), that's when success just falls into place. You're fearless in auditions, you're confident with your choices, you're happy with or without work, and you're not in your head second guessing yourself.

Here's what's funny -- a few years ago when an acting coach suggested I read Who Moved My Cheese, I kid you not, things picked up in a huge way. Maybe because I was open to change, or not scared of career lulls, or less preoccupied with what I wore to each freaking audition...but I became a little booking machine.

And maybe that really is the secret...because it does seem like the actors who are relaxed and don't seem to care whether they book the job or not are the ones that book. And yes, it's easy to say now, while I'm working...but this was a mindset change that happened when I was hostessing at a restaurant, and worrying when my next check would come, and having people cover my shifts so I could stay for a callback. When my car would barely start in the morning, and I would cry looking at my little apartment and dwindling checking account balance, but I just knew something would change. It had to. And I read that book, and faked it til I made it.

Now granted I still have minor pity parties, and ebb and flow through the process (how could one not?), but I will say the largest shift in my career always happens when I stop stressing and start having fun.

Bring that energy into the room, and you will work.

Thick skin

You have to have a thick skin in this industry. Everyone says it. Why? Because it's resoundingly true.

Now I think that I happen to have a very thick skin; a propensity for bouncing back after I've been teased by the powers that be, for wiping myself off after my pilot didn't get picked up (or my scenes were cut, or the arc for my character was trashed, or I just felt flat out defeated, rejected, embarrassed). I think, all things considered, I have been through the ringer and powered through like the thick skin mascot.

Then I heard about an actor who booked one of the leads on the HBO miniseries, "The Pacific." He auditioned and tested for close to eight months. They asked him to lose 20 pounds. He did. They told him to do research. He did. He devoted his life to booking this role, to being ready, to embracing the magnitude of how this role could change his life.

He got the job. He rearranged his life, was flown to Australia (where the show was shot), and prepared for this game-changing career moment.

What he didn't prepare for was the knock on his hotel room door saying that he had been recast. No call from producers. No explanation. No scenes ever shot. Just a ticket back to LA.

I have to be honest, I think that would break me. I don't know how I could rebound from that. And God bless him for powering through. That guy is still out there hustling. I'm still blown away -- not that that happened (because the injustices in this industry are plentiful) but that he picked himself up and moved on.

Amazing.

Upfronts

Well...it's that time of year. Upfronts.

The few weeks in May when the networks announce their pilot picks ups, and season line ups. The weeks that drive me to drink.

When I booked my first pilot a few years ago, and was hugely into "The Secret" and Laws of Attraction, I had deluded myself into only seeing one reality. The reality of my show getting picked up and having a long successful run, and years of syndication. How could that not happen? I had written that very thing on pieces of paper, and envisioned it so hard that it was the only possibility. In my head, that is.

So when I got the call that we weren't getting picked up, it was like someone knocked the wind out of me. Like you were telling a kid that Santa Clause didn't exist. I had not prepared for the possibility of...well, reality.

And each year thereafter I promised I would take these pilots I booked with a grain of salt. Enjoy the process, not stress about whether they got picked up. Take the money, make a few friends, and let go of the rest. And in all honesty, I've done pretty good with this.

Fast forward to present. Where the two pilots I tested for (but did not book) were both picked up. I don't know why this hurts more than my own pilot not getting picked up. But it does.

It stings a bit more.

But you know what? The beat goes on. There is more work to be booked, more roles to be had, and more opportunities to come. And a little splash of pinot grigio never hurt anybody.

Finding culture in LA

So as opposed to a typical Saturday night of dinner party with friends... OR.... dinner + movie ... OR ...dinner + couch + wine + tivo.....

Tonight became a night of dinner + THEATER.
Theater in LA? Yes, in LA. (My bestie in NY is currently shuddering as she reads this, I know.)

So anyhow, some friends and I went to see a play...to be sophisticates, and to transcend the dull and "culturally devoid" bubble that most people describe this city to be. No cheesy TV or film for us this Saturday night. Oh no, we are way too chic for that. We are classy ladies, in search of culture.

So we walk in, and I look up at the board of cast members. "Wait a minute," I say, " I know that girl. I know the lead." I scramble to figure it out, and then I realize. She's the chick I saw at the commercial callback on Friday. Oh, and the guy in the baseball cap two seats down: he's on "Mad Men." And that guy in the front row with the pretty girl...yep, he's on "Entourage." And the man who came in late, and only smiled twice during the entire show -- one of the biggest TV casting directors I know.

Welcome to LA. I guess you can never really escape the bubble.

The silver lining however is: culture exists in this town, and people want to see it, AND if you want to network, go see some plays.

That's a wrap

And finally last night, after weeks of hard work and night shoots.....that's a wrap.

A moment to breathe and take it all in? Not even.

Back to the grind and off to an audition today...

Love this

If I knew then what I know now....

Many of you ask me what hustling is. I think it's different for everyone. But what I can pinpoint is what I would have done differently at the beginning of my career, had I known it would all turn out ok...and honestly, even if it didn't turn out ok (these do's and dont's would have made the journey a hell of a lot easier).

If I knew then what I know now:

I would have enjoyed the process more

I would have always looked "camera ready" instead of eating out of self-pity, and then desperately trying to lose a few pounds when I booked a job

I would not have looked at the sign-in sheet at auditions to see who signed in before me and what agency they were at

I would have remembered that casting directors are just people too

I would have filled my life with more than just acting so that when it felt empty, my life would still feel full

I would have been kinder to myself

I would have taken a class on memorization right out the gate

I would have remembered that every show has a wardrobe department and that I didn't need to dress like a lawyer to be cast as a lawyer

I would have passed on auditions that I didn't want to do (without fear of my agent dropping me)

I would have drilled into my head that no matter what happens, it's not personal

I would have always made sure my gas tank was full en route to auditions so that I didn't have to keep calling AAA

I would have gone to networking events

I would have bought an amazing blowdryer and saved money on all of those "I have to look amazing for this audition" blowouts (note: And I wonder where the gas money went...)

I would not have cried when I didn't book a part, and trusted that there truly would be more

I would not have cried when my part was cut, or my role was cut...and trusted that there truly would be more

I would have laughed more, relaxed more, enjoyed it more, and complained less

I would have journaled every single day

I would have ________________________. (you fill in the blank)

Night Shoots

Night shoots, bloody night shoots. Oh, how I hate you so....
You ruin my day, in every way. You suck, you're lame, you blow...

I suppose it's safe to say that (clearly) I am not a fan of night shoots. They are miserable. Contrary to popular belief, it's not just shooting a couple scenes after dark -- it's when your calltime is anytime in the dank dark night and you're shooting during fringe hours (ie, 10pm-10am), or in my case (the past few days) 1:00am in hair & makeup, and a 2am call for set. Then driving home at say 10am. It's not pretty.

Here's the problem -- crew, cast, everyone gets cranky. And hungry. And punchy.

I watched the progression of a guy who was cast as an under five. Charming, so "on," laughing, thrilled to be there at 4am on set, just raring to deliver these 3 lines. He was all smiles. He introduced himself with his full name and a firm handshake, like he had a headshot and resume in his back pocket.

It was refreshing....inspiring, even. He made me feel like a jaded old actress who forgot what it was like to be excited just to be working -- no matter what hour it was. I looked at him and tried to remind myself to be just as excited to be there (at 4am), to not care that the coffee was stale (at 4am), or that the weather was cold (at 4am), or that it was..... (ah hem) 4am.

Fast forward 3 hours, and he was just like the rest of us. Ready to go home. No more Mr. Sunshine. He was just another person who was exhausted with his job.

And that's what I find to be so interesting -- when all is said and done, it really is a job. It's work. And to keep your scenes fresh at 6am when you're powering through on sludgy coffee and a prayer, only to get home, nap, and do it all again...it doesn't take away from how cool our job is, but that, my friends, is a hustle.

Happy 10,000 hits!

A few months ago I remembered geeking out when this blog had 100 hits. I called my boyfriend over to look at the counter on the screen: "100 hits!! Look, look!," I kept screaming, "We have to celebrate! It's so cool!"

He smiled and said I should wait until the blog hit 10,000 hits before I celebrated. At the time I thought this was the largest buzzkill. How would it ever get 10,000 hits? And if it did (or when it did rather) it would undoubtedly take FOR-EV-ERRR (say that like the kid in "The Sandlot").

What I didn't get at the time was that he wasn't trying to rain on my parade; he saw the potential in this blog, in me, in the shared understanding of what it feels like to hustle. He knew 100 hits was just the beginning. And now, 4 months later -- here we are at 10,000 hits.

So cheers to the little engine that could! You keep reading, I'll keep writing.